What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sext me about skeletons
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
