Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to walk on stilts...naked
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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