Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize