that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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