idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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