That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I smell stomach acid.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize