So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
