Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
