One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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