I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
