I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
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i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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