when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
