just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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