Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
