id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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