Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
