He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
