you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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