if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have feelings that need drinking.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
