like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
