So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
