What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
