Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
