i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
