You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
