i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
