grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
