Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
