You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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