I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
