its not stalking. its research.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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