It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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