i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
