i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
