hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
did i just pee glitter
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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