Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
