omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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