i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
