she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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