I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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