I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
