he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
