remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
