u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
