Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I supernannyed him into submission
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
