White coat. Heels.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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