Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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