the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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