When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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