woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
