I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
