he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize