her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
