I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you never un-have a 4some
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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