i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
