I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
