you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
