if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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