And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
