youre lurking in front of me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
