just come out here and I will go home with you...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
